parenthood post: the space between

today's parenthood post is about the space between. what i want to know is, how long did you wait to get pregnant again? did you have a plan or did things just happen? did you want to have all your kids within a certain period of time? did you want them to be a certain number of years apart? or did you just sort of play things by ear?  do you think having kids closer together will help them be closer as siblings? i'll tell you what i think after the jump...

my mom with me & three of my sisters circa 1992

click below

i don't know about you, but i can't wait to have another baby! my pregnancy was really not bad at all, and my labor and delivery were great as well. i loved the hospital i gave birth in, i loved my doctor, all the nurses were exceptional, and meeting the tiny little guy that had been doing somersaults in my stomach for nine months was without a doubt the most awesome thing that's ever happened to me. thinking about going into labor again, and hanging out in the hospital anxiously awaiting the arrival of a sweet little baby that will change my life forever makes me giddy! but there are a few things that are keeping me from getting pregnant again right away...

first, i want jude to be at least a year old. no particular reasoning behind this. i just wanted at least one solid year to enjoy just jude.

secondly, i want to be done nursing jude before i get pregnant again. i wanted to nurse for at least a year (only one more month to go!) before i started weening him. and if i had gotten pregnant before that, then i would have to stop nursing. also, i just want a break from nursing (don't get me wrong, i'm a huge fan of nursing, but sometimes it is exhausting!)

third, i will get a full night's sleep before the next baby comes! it has been almost a year since i've had a good night's sleep. like, literally, i've gotten no more than four hours (at the most) solid sleep in the past twelve months. jude still wakes up three to four times (sometimes more) every. single. night. if i'm going to be pregnant again, i need a good night's sleep or else everyone in the house will suffer.

fourth, steve and i are both still students. i want at least one of us to have a degree before we have another one.

fifth, i want our kids to be at least two years apart. we want them close in age, but not too close in age. no particular reason, that's just what steve and i decided.

now, all this being said, who knows what will actually happen? a lot depends on how many kids we end up having (that could be a whole separate post), what our kids are like, what our situation in life is, etc. etc. but we figure now that we've started, we may as well keep going.

so, what do you think? were there any stipulations you insisted on before deciding to go through pregnancy and childbirth all over again? are you on board to have another one, but dreading those first few absolutely exhausting weeks after the baby is born? do you and your partner agree about the space between? (it took steve and i a while before we reached a compromise). did the way you grew up, or the family you grew up in affect your decision about the space between? i want to know!

all my siblings and me at my brother's wedding circa 2007 (my parents had 8 in 15 years!)


Ruth said...

I wanted to wait at least a year before getting pregnant. I wanted that time for my body to recover from the first pregnancy and my c-section. Like you, I wanted to have some time between being done nursing and getting pregnant again. That didn't happen though, as this second pregnancy was unplanned. I was still nursing Lily when I got pregnant, and even after I found out I was pregnant I kept nursing her for a little while.
I like the idea of having kids closer together in age so that they will be more likely to have stuff in common and be friends with eachother. I can understand parents spacing their kids though. In my family it's nice that I have siblings (6 kids spaced between 10 years) close to my age, but then I also have older siblings who have more life experience and can give great advice.
Also, we don't know how many kids we want to have. I want to have my kids close enough together in age so that if I decide to have a lot of kids I will be able to. I don't want to still be having children when I'm in my forties.
I feel like I could talk about this topic forever, but I think I've pretty much covered how I feel about things.

elise said...

ruth, i agree, i feel like i could talk about this or hours...

prerna pickett said...

I'm pregnant with my fourth and last! You have no idea how happy this makes me, especially since the morning sickness is always pretty hard on me. All four of our kids will have a two year gap, Dylan and Logan are only 20 months apart but will be two years apart in school. Adhira and Dylan are two weeks from being two years apart and Adhira and this new baby will be 2 years and a few months apart. I thought I was done after Adhira but I always got this feeling that someone was missing, that's how I knew we were supposed to have one more. Honestly it's up to you and your hubby how many you're comfortable having. I used to want more but the more I have the more I realize there's only so much of me to go around. Not only that but I wanted to be done before my thirties. It's nice to know that when this one turns eighteen I'll only be 44. Good luck with your decision, and remember it's your and your husband's business what you decide, no one else should make you feel bad with whatever you decide to do. I've had some experience with that too.